June 15, 2009
This is the day my life was changed. Did I choose to change it? Was I doing things in my life that I needed to change? Was I coming into a different phase, thus leading me to a great change? NO! I was very comfortable in where my life was now. I was 42 years old and I was settled down; the kids were all growing up; I had a great job; a husband of over 20 years who was still my best friend; and things finally made sense (or so I thought).
My health, I would not have considered it to be awful, actually I think I would have rated it as better than most. However, there were "things" that had been going on for quite sometime, but I simply wrote them off, put them into what I called "life boxes". My life boxes were just that, boxes were you separate things that are going on in your life. I was having trouble with my short term memory (so that went into the "I am really busy and getting older box"). I was tired by mid day and then couldn't sleep at night (so that went into the "I need to get a new mattress and sleep better at night box") it also fit into the ("I have always had a bit of insomnia box")
See there was reasons that made since and things were working when I did this so I NEVER would have thought there was really anything more that LIFE and AGING going on with me. That was until the fatigue hit -- this God Awful horrendous fatigue; fatigue/exhaustion like I have never felt in my life! Mix that with some weird head pain and facial paralysis and you have a trip to the ER.
After being in there and having tests run a neurologist appeared in my room. We talked a little about nothing and then she said "IT".... "Ms. Gambill, we have to get real serious for a minute". Well my 16 year old son was in the room and this bothered me more than anything as I was unsure of what this woman was about to say (was it brain cancer, tumors, what) and I did not want my boy in that room to hear it, however she didn't wait and said "You have MS" what did I just hear her correctly? Lady I think you need to go back out and grab the right chart. This is not ME, I would have never thought, heck I didn't think this was a possibility. Heck, I know a lot about a little medical stuff and a little about a lot, MS did not fall into either of these and here this doctor is tell me that I HAVE MS!
"Yes , she confirmed, you have eleven lesions on your brain and nine of them are active, we have ruled out all the other possibilities and that is how we come to this conclusion">
ELEVEN LESIONS - NINE ACTIVE!!!! My mind was reeling on top of being sick, I didn't understand any of this, I even told her that I knew I would have questions of all sorts soon, as soon as I gripped all this news. My husband was there with me and he was taken aback as well. We had no idea what Relapsing/Remitting MS was and what was a remission that I was now supposed to be waiting on as this was a full blown MS relapse!
This is the beginning of my journey! The beginning of fighting doctors, finding new friends, and learning everyday how to live with a life long illness!