Sunday, February 19, 2012

I Will Not Own What Is Not Mine

For anyone with a chronic illness it is very disheartening to KNOW that someone who is supposed to care most about you, will exponentially and/or inexplicably support others with any of their plights before supporting your own.  (even those "on-line" friends, they have never met)!

Depression (something thankfully I do not suffer from) - is even more difficult to deal with when the person holding the mirror, who talks about others faults, only has negative views and outlooks, will never once look into their own mirror.  I am so very thankful I do not suffer and I have clinically been told I am not at risk for chronic depression (I would never wish this upon anybody).  This is something I deal with externally and their denial sometimes is as bad as the disease. 



If I end up having to fight my own health battles alone, I am not worried, as I am accustomed to doing things individualistically .... I have always held my own job, made my own money, paid my own/family bills, taken care of my kids, was and always will be strong enough to enforce my will and beliefs; I do NOT need the hand of anyone to hold but my own... my Gram taught me well!  


One thing you observe in the life of someone who suffers and will not admit it, is the reasoning, the excuses, the justification of why why why... why they haven't done this that or the other and how easily they can find those reasons of justification and blame to others ... for EVERYTHING they cannot, will not, or have not accomplished. 


For someone to actually make you feel like you are not believed ... simply a liar... and then you are supposed to also feel loved... How?  No matter what... HOW?  


You decide NOT to be included in the nonsense .. that is HOW, b/c you know yourself, all you give, all you do, and how you love... so you chose not to allow anyone to continue to do this to you.


If "it" is mine; I will own it.  However, I will NOT own what is NOT.... I am handing it back.  I have enough. 

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